2 Ears, 1 Mouth
     Sent 3/17/2003

2 Ears, 1 Mouth
As a parent I am often frustrated because my child does not listen when I want her to. So much so that the phrase “2 ears, 1 mouth” has become our code for “Use your ears twice as much as you do your mouth.” Because this is such a big deal to me I have started paying attention to adult listening habits as well, and guess what, most adults have a listening problem too. I include myself in this because I too am guilty of thinking too much while someone else is talking, instead of giving that person my full attention. And what could I possibly be thinking?

An inventory of my ‘mind chatter” when I should have been listening goes something like this:
-What time is this meeting over and do I have time to run to the store before I go home?
-I wish I hadn’t worn this outfit because it makes me look fat.
-My head hurts and I don’t think I have any medicine in my bag.
-What is this person’s name?
-Who did they say they worked for?
-As soon as they quit talking I’m going to say something witty and inspiring.
-If I keep standing here I won’t get a good seat for the session.
-Do I have time to make a phone call before the next session begins?

It is hard for us to live in the moment. I believe this is because we want to be prepared for what comes next and/or get busy reliving what has happened in the immediate past. Sometimes I think we are afraid to be quiet even when we are by ourselves. Listening to our own thoughts, fears, and believes can be frightening. That’s why many of us require background noise while we eat, work, drive, sleep and play.

During the next month I challenge you to:

*Realize hearing and listening are not the same thing. Listening is an action verb that requires practice and effort; hearing only requires a pair of working ears. Test your listening skills by repeating back what someone has just said to you. This is one activity that you can and should try at home!

*Live in the moment. That means if you find your mind wandering when you should be listening, pull it back on track. In time it will become easier and easier to ‘be’ where you are rather than in the future or past.

*Spend at least 10 minutes a day in silence. No TV. No radio. Increase your silent time until you reach at least 30 minutes a day. My best time for this is while I’m traveling or after everyone in my house has gone to bed. If you really do this you will be amazed how many good, creative ideas come to you if you only let them through the useless mind chatter.
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March Brainteaser-Win a Cool Prize!

NAME THE PRODUCT
Customer: How much is this one?
Clerk: Thirty cents.
Customer: I’ll take fourteen.
Clerk: Sixty cents.
Customer: I’ll take a hundred and forty-four
Clerk: That will be ninety cents.
What on earth is the customer buying?

Email me your answer and on April 1st a winner will be drawn from all the correct answers received.

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Darla Arni is a Professional Speaker, Consultant and Author of Sharing Creative Energy at Home, Life Compass for Women, and the Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter.

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