December 2008
     Sent 12/15/2008

Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter
By Darla Arni

Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter is a free monthly, or whenever Darla can get it out, publication for clients, friends and subscribers who want to be more creative, energetic and productive in their life and work. © 2008 Darla Arni

**************************************************************************
In This Issue:
     Piñata People
     Welcome to New Subscribers
     Quote of the Month
     Mensa Moment

**************************************************************************

Piñata People

The definition: People who are concerned with outward appearance more than character, when first cracked open can be very sweet and full of good times but in reality are an empty shell waiting to be filled, and actively try to recruit others to their way of life. We probably all know people that we love, are good friends with, have dated or met in the course of our life and work that fit this description. They’re usually not evil people, although they could be, but more likely we would consider them shallow. Piñata People are a new breed of shallow because they work hard at perpetuating the illusion that their chosen way of being outwardly mobile rather than inwardly mobile is the only answer. They actively recruit others to believe the way they do which serves to enhance their ego and status while expanding their comfort zone. Unsuspecting 'chameleons' (I don’t have to explain that do I?) are easily roped in and take on the color of whichever Piñata People they happen to be in the company of. When two or more Piñata People are together it can be quite a show as they jockey for power and influence while carefully maintaining an illusion of laidback self-confidence. Let me be clear. I am not saying that striving for success and the outward showing of that success is wrong. I am saying that to do that at the expense of ignoring the development of yourself as a confident, fulfilled human being is a waste. Becoming an authentic, happy person who uses their talents and gifts to create a better world for themselves and others is a life journey, not something you can cross off your list and be done with. We all have moments of stress and weakness when Piñata People tendencies can surface and we fall into old patterns of behavior. Carol Adrienne, Ph.D., speaker and author calls attending cocktail parties, business meetings, job interviews, high school reunions, and blind dates the Authenticity Olympics! She urges us to, “Begin to notice with which friends you feel more yourself—more authentic. You may feel more comfortable in small gatherings--or oddly enough, meeting a stranger on a plane where you find yourself spilling out feelings you haven’t shared even with family members. It’s easier to be authentic when your identity is secondary to other actions, like chatting with the owner of an adorable and friendly dog. A good sign that you are feeling authentic is when you feel expanded and relaxed. Feeling hemmed in or contracted is a sign that you are shutting down and not being as present as you could be.”

My problem with Piñata People is, when they are in control, creativity goes out the window! You cannot be creative when your energies are focused on pleasing and becoming like someone else. Creativity flourishes in an atmosphere of safety and acceptance and dies when it’s attacked by self-doubt and feelings of not being enough. Since you can’t possibly avoid or rid your life of Piñata People you must learn to manage yourself so you are not susceptible to or stressed by their presence. How can you do this?

• Stand Up For What You Bel ieve. Be tactful but firm as you express your opinion and why you believe what you believe. It might be hard the first time but it will get better.
• Banish Self Doubt. Begin by monitoring the voice in your brain and replace self inflicted criticism with acceptance. Build confidence by taking note of your successes rather than obsessing over failures or mistakes.
• Clear Your Mind. Learn to appreciate silence and be still. It’s the best way to rid your mind of fretting and negativity. Don’t know where to start? Begin by becoming aware of your breathing and relaxation will follow.
• Tune into Nature. Sounds, smells, and textures in nature provide an escape from our crazy world and put things into perspective. Combine it with physical activity and your benefits multiply.
• Value your time. Choose who you want to spend your time with and don’t allow yourself to be pushed into situations with Piñata People. You can’t change them but you can take charge of your life.

Be patient with yourself and implement the steps above gradually if necessary. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you!

**************************************************************************

WELCOME!

To new subscribers from the Missouri Community Action Agency and Missouri Assisted Living Association groups. I hope you enjoy and are inspired by my unique newsletter. Please contact me if you have any questions, concerns, or suggestions for future topics.

**************************************************************************

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

“Being authentic is knowing ourselves and being ourselves as we engage with others in the activity of leadership – no playing roles, no acting, no fulfilling the expectations of others. We are actually and exactly who we are. Nothing false, nothing imitative, nothing imaginary. Being authentic means not hiding behind a mask, not faking what we think or feel, not using spin to promote a sanitized version of the truth. Being authentic is living with honesty and integrity. It is being transparent and congruent, matching inner reality with its outward expression” - R. Moxley

“Sometimes we’re not sure who we are until someone tries to make us be something we’re not.”- Darla Arni

(This quote came from dealing with Piñata People and now is part of my letterhead design.)

*************************************************************************

MENSA MOMENT

You are playing table tennis on the beach when your only ball falls into a hole in the sand that someone else had used for their beach umbrella. The hole is only slightly larger in diameter than the ball. How can you take the ball out without digging?

E-mail your answer to Darla. The first 15 correct answers will be entered in our prize drawing. Good luck!

Last Month’s Answer:

None. The ship floats and it always weighs the same in the water. It will rise with the tide, so its flotation line will always be the same. So the ladder will still be 22 steps.

Congratulations to Doug Vickers for being drawn as our winner! Doug, send me your contact information so I can get your prize in the mail!

**************************************************************************

DARLA SPEAKS OUT

The blog: http://www.darlaarni.com.blogspot.com/

**************************************************************************

NEED A LAST MINUTE GIFT?

Be Still note cards are available in packages of 8 cards w/envelopes for $5 (plus shipping).  And my online store offers artwork, booklets, e-booklets, and books!

Explore the store and pass the word along. http://www.darlaarni.com/products.htm. Or contact medirectly for orders, whichever you prefer.

**************************************************************************

You may contact Darla with your comments or questions. There is no fee for Sharing Creative Energy and we welcome new subscribers.

To unsubscribe, to change your address, or to add someone, e-mail Darla. This e-mail list will never be sold or shared.

This publication is copyrighted but we encourage sharing it with proper permission and attribution and if our copyright is included.
*********************************************************************
Darla Arni is a Professional Speaker, Artist and Author of:
30 Ways to Share Creative Energy at Home and the Sharing Creative Energy Newsletter.
Co-Author: Life Compass for Women
Co-Author: 66 Secrets to Less Stress

Sharing Creative Energy
e-mail Darla
660.529.2969 voice
660.815.7262 cell

Home | About Darla | Energizing Presentations | Darla's Store | Clients/Testimonials | Video | Contact Darla | Sharing Creative Energy E-Newsletter | Links | E-Newsletter Sign Up